Yesterday while praying in my car on the way to work and listening to one of Rick Warren’s earlier sermons, I was answered with “arrogance” in respond to my request to God to point out anything in me that offends Him. I started laughing and said, “Thanks God.” They say, “ask and you shall receive” or “seek and ye shall find.” Well, the response I found was not exactly what I was planning on hearing. God is always really comical with me in that way. Often when revelations are made to me it gets me laughing in the way that it transpires.
To put some context into this I have been working on not venting my frustration about people I work with. Many of them have not completed tasks timely for clients I service. The business is not managed well. There are a lot of issues. Meanwhile, I’ve been working to be better than I was the day before and exude loving kindness in all of my interactions, but seem to be primarily struggling with this at work. When something is not done well, or at all, or on time, it infuriates me because I am the face of the business as an account manager. I get to be the one who relays the disappointing news to the client and listen to the frustrated reaction.
Now that you have some color on the situation. Specifically, I was driving in to work and praying that I would succeed in emanating loving kindness in my interactions with people I work with that day and asking God to remove anything blocking my ability to emanate love. When suddenly Rick Warren began answering my request. It was perfect timing when the speakers blasted out, “You know what your problem is? Pride.” Since yesterday, I’ve been reflecting and can see that I do have a problem with pride.
Oddly enough tonight’s reading from Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, MD was also about pride. I can see that much of my frustration at work comes out of pride. I do feel people should do as I do and be accountable for their work. I have often vented under my breath calling coworkers morons, idiots, etc. with an air of arrogance.
In moments of frustration I forget that they are no different from me and I am no different from them. I forget that they are imperfect just as I am. I forget that they are overwhelmed with the heavy workload. I forget that they are probably just as irritated by the dysfunctional management of the organization and heavy demands on our time and energy as a result. Worst of all, I forget that God gave me every skill or ability I have, which allows me to be good at my job in the first place. I forget that I am trashing God’s creation when I vent about anyone, which is why I have been praying on the ability to exude loving kindness at work.
Have any of you successfully dealt with pride? If so, please share your journey in the comments or email me directly if it is more personal. I would love the blessing of learning from your experience.