Our children certainly have a way of bringing out the best… and the worst in us. From warm hugs to the temper tantrums, there is nothing else in life that forces us to stretch who we are in such significant ways. While often we think we are the ones guiding them and helping them grow, I’ve found that my daughter is actually doing more for me in terms of personal growth than I could have ever anticipated prior to becoming a mom.
Lesson 1: SELFLESSNESS
It’s not long after bringing our little bundle of joy home from the hospital before we realize, “We’re not in Kansas anymore.” When we are awoken several times a night, we see it is no longer about us. Everything revolves around this tiny being that has now entered our household and become the boss. This tiny little person sure has a lot of needs and is at the mercy of us to have them met. Through caring for our infants, a lot of us get our first taste of what it means to be selfless. Regardless of how we’re feeling in the moment, we tend to take on the Nike slogan and we “Just DO IT!” out of love for our child.
Lesson 2: REMAINING HAPPY WHILE COVERED IN… S&%T
We’ve all been there. It’s first thing in the morning and we are awoken by our infant, only to find they’ve had a dreaded “poop-splosion.” You know it well if you’ve had a child… the poop that is seemingly larger than your infant… the one that goes all the way up their back, down their legs, etc. There they are… innocent, dependent, smiling, and waiting for us to restore them to cleanliness. As gross as this situation is, it’s taught me to look at life through the lens of an infant. Although an infant is covered in pooh, they often don’t seem the slightest bit upset about it. Maybe it’s because they don’t have to clean it up, or maybe it’s because we are all born knowing how to remain calm, peaceful, and happy in the midst of shitty situations. Maybe we’ve forgotten over time how to do this and our children come along to help us to remember.
Lesson 3: TRUST
We could use the above example to illustrate this as well. Even when our child is uncomfortably covered in feces, they are so happy because they have unrelenting trust that we will clean them up. For them, being covered in poop becomes almost funny in a sense because they know that when we enter the room, we’ll begin the process of restoring them to their original sanitary selves. Knowing a situation is temporary and trusting in a positive outcome helps them to maintain their bubbly demeanor, even in a stinky situation.
Lesson 4: PATIENCE
As our little one grows, the lessons grow with them. We are no longer dealing with the soggy poop problems but are dealing with temper tantrums. These outbursts seem to take place over the smallest things. We sit back and sometimes secretly yearn to have the soggy poop problems back. At least then we had some control over things. Being in the middle of a tantrum really makes you question your sanity… part of us wants to just make it stop, part of us wants to detach and leave the situation, part of us craves to understand… and then it hits us that the only thing we can do it just be patient. We have to stand and be this steady presence when our child has turned somewhat unrecognizable and wait for this storm to pass. Luckily the storms always pass.
Lesson 5: HUMILITY
Depending on where you are when this tantrum occurs, you may also have the opportunity to gain the lesson of humility. I remember my daughter having a huge meltdown at the beach one summer as I was trying to pack everything up to leave. She was waterlogged, tired, and had been having fun when it was time to go. Needless to say, it unfolded quite badly. I felt my face go hot and red as what felt like all of the people on the beach turned to stare at me. I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was humiliated because I felt I wasn’t a “good mom” in that moment. I was with another mom and this experience caused me to humble myself as it was quite obvious that I didn’t always have the “perfect child” or the “perfect parenting technique.”
Lesson 6: FORGIVENESS
When the tantrums subside, we don’t sit there angrily holding a grudge against our child for long. Most of us are quick to let go and move on. We wipe their eyes and runny noses, try to understand what caused the tantrum, and then let go of the prior moments to assure them we still love them despite their behavior in that moment. We are able to overlook things with our children and choose to love them anyway.
Lesson 7: ACCEPTANCE
In loving them, we accept the late night wake up calls & the early morning alarms. We accept toys all over our living room. We accept the disagreements. We accept having less time for ourselves. We accept not always having it all “together.” We accept the overflowing love that the little soul we’ve been blessed with has to offer. Most of all, we accept all of the lessons they bring us each and every day on this extraordinary journey we get to be part of as their parent.
This is just the short list of the lessons I’ve taken in so far. It’s a wonderful crash course in life to be responsible for another human, one I am blessed to have the opportunity to have.
What lessons have your children taught you? Please share in the comments section. I’d love to hear from you.