Tapas: Can We Find Purpose In Pain & Suffering?

Tapas means to burn or to create heat. Tapaḥ is accepting pain as purification. Spiritually speaking, the process of tapas asks us to burn away that which does not serve us. It asks us to allow suffering to do this work of stripping away the impurities that prevent our light from shining through. It asks us to allow the pain others inflict without returning it to them. Anyone who has been hurt knows that this isn’t an easy thing to do. The gut reaction is to use the “eye for an eye” mentality and go for the jugular when someone hurts us, but tapas is also the practice of growing our self-discipline so that we can refrain from dishing out the “evil” that has been sent in our direction. Instead it requires us to look within and understand ourselves more deeply to see why we were are so reactive to their actions to begin with. Then, rather than lashing out at the other, we resolve what is causing our own reactivity.

Suffering and adversity allow us the opportunity to strengthen control of our minds. It is a blessing. When things get challenging, our minds have a tendency to go into a tailspin. Suddenly we aren’t thinking logically or rationally, but are going down the dark spiral of evil thoughts whether they be directed at ourselves or another. When we can witness our minds in the darker, more difficult, moments of life we can see the deeply ingrained patterns at work within us. As these patterns rise to the surface and we see them, we then have the power to assess and decide whether we wish to keep them or replace them. The more we witness the minds “crazy-making” the less seriously we take it. The less seriously we take it, the more free and joyful we become.

Tapas is probably my favorite yogic observance. It is not self-inflicted pain, but using the suffering and pain life deals us to gain power over your life and bring about a steady and peaceful mind. If you are going to suffer and experience pain in life, you might as well use it to bring about something good otherwise it’s just maniacal misery for it’s own sake. Think about it. You really only have 2 choices when it comes to painful experiences: (1) you allow them to dominate you and become a victim (2) you dominate it and become the victor.  I’ll take the latter any day. Suffering is inevitable and cannot be avoided. Whether it be the death of a loved one, lost job, lost love, injury, sickness, or any other # of experiences that most of us go through, there is no stopping it. Why not make the most of it?

There are 3 kinds of tapas (self-discipline): physical, verbal, and mental. Physical relates to having control over one’s sexual desire. Control over lust does not mean celibacy, but rather conscious sexual expression. It means that we consciously choose whether to act on desire or allow it to solely exist. Verbal means that we have control over our mouths and “speak no evil.” The Vedas state “speak what is true, speak what is pleasant.” Otherwise, we should have the discipline to remain quiet. I’ll admit this one is still hard for me when angered. I’ve always had the bad habit of using words as weapons to cut to the heart of the person who has frustrated me and it’s a hard habit to break. When I’ve calmed down, I’ve found myself feeling awful for the mean-spirited things I’ve said and had to suck it up and apologize. I have made substantial progress though, so I’ll celebrate that I don’t have to apologize nearly as much as I used to. The last is mental, which means we should exercise control over our mind so that our thoughts remain pure and good-hearted. This requires awareness of what is going on in the attic… we can’t control what we can’t observe, which is why meditation is key in the practice of yoga.

The phrase, “if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen,” does not apply here. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You want to run toward the things that will give you a front row seat into yourself and then stay as long as it takes until you gain insight. There is nothing that draws out some deep-seated emotional stuff like suffering. Last month, I posted about a recent hike I took with my fiancé and what this hike is for me is the practice of tapas. Asana is also a resource for practicing tapas. It is the same with the Wim Hof method from what I know about it (though I have not studied it in depth).  I’m sure you can think of many ways you can begin to practice your self-discipline, staying power, and start to mine for the truth within.

Jacob in the Bible knew something about tapas. He wrestled with an extraordinarily powerful and mysterious being all night and refused to let go until he was blessed by the experience. If you’ve ever been in a fight, you know that it isn’t necessarily what most would call a pleasurable experience. There is an element of suffering and pain when you experience a blow. Jacob, stayed with the suffering until he received a blessing. Most wouldn’t do this. At some point they would tap out or run in the opposite direction seeking something more pleasurable. Tapas asks us to stay in the fight and wrestle with what comes up until we are blessed by it.

Tapas (suffering and pain) is what brought me to the spiritual path to begin with, which is why I think it has a special place in my heart. In fact, I think most of us find the spiritual path in this way. At the time I lacked self-discipline. I was fickle, always changing my mind when things got hard. I didn’t have much follow-through. I didn’t think there was any place for suffering in life, when it came I would bottle it down deep and intentionally “ forget” about it never really processing trauma or hurt feelings… always moving on and seeking something else to make me feel better. In some way, it was these qualities that caused my suffering and tapas was one of the first spiritual practices I’d engaged in… staying in the heat until I was blessed by it. The path of yoga (and also studying the Bible) has gotten me pretty far. I now see suffering as an opportunity to grow… to know… and become whole.

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