How many of us can honestly state that we are always content with our lives? The niyama of saṁtoṣa/santosha focuses on the very concept of contentment, which is considered the root of supreme joy in the sutras. Contentment simply means that we are “ok” no matter what happens around us. When it rains, we let it and don’t get upset nor wish it were different. It is impossible to have contentment without surrender. In order to remain content, we must surrender our ideas of what “should be” knowing that we can only experience what is and that to wish for “what is” to be anything other is a waste of energy. When we let go of the idea that things should be as we desire them to be, we are free to find gratitude right where we are. Since we know now is all we have, the goal is to make the most of it or seize the day rather than to wish it away.
In a sense, this is the only real way to worship God… by embracing the life that was given to us and feeling gratitude for every moment we have it, even the perceived painful or miserable experiences. This is incredibly difficult to do in the moment, but when we look to something greater than ourselves and trust that the pain has purpose it becomes much easier. I’m a firm believer that every experience we undergo prepares us for something else when we learn to see it that way. Every bit of suffering and pain we endure strengthens us so that we are less phased by the pains of this world. Someone who has never been tested hits a road bump and falls apart. Someone who has undergone struggle barely even notices the bump in the road and keeps on trucking. Suffering is a blessing when we can see the jewel within it. Diamonds are just a lump of coal purified by intense pressure and heat. A person who has endured enough suffering, eventually becomes a diamond. Hardened and impenetrable to attack by anything this world has to offer.
Contentment is not easy to come by, especially in America land of materialism and “keeping up with the ‘Jones’ (whoever the hell the Jones’ may be for you). Seeing people who have what you want can sometimes be really frustrating and can cause internal demons to attack. “What are they doing that I’m not?” “How are they so fortunate?” “Yeah, if I had ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ helping me on my way I’d be there too….” tend to cross the mind as we see others with their great fortunes. We see what people want us to see and don’t see that they never spend time with their kids because they are so focused on earning money. We don’t see that they are a payment away from getting the new shiny car repossessed. We don’t see that they filed bankruptcy 3 times. We don’t see that they have awful fights behind closed doors about money. When we see the images on Instagram of beautiful women, we don’t see the hours they put into making themselves up, getting the perfect “selfie”, selecting the perfect filter, and perfectly photo-shopping their images so that we give them “likes.” We don’t see the addiction to the cell phone and that their whole sense of self-image is tied to the # of likes they get. We don’t see the loneliness and desperation behind the image.
There is a reason why the 10 commandments also speak of not coveting (wanting/desiring) what others have. It is trap that sends you into a pit of despair. It only harms you. Suddenly, you find yourself thinking, “My life sucks. If only I had (fill in the blank here),” which then leads to chasing the next object of desire. We spend our lives running… passing by everything so quickly that we don’t ever have time to appreciate it. Think about speeding down the highway. How many of the wildflowers on the side of the highway are you noticing? How many of the trees do you really see and appreciate? How much of the city are you seeing as you speed on through? Not much… a very small %. This is kind of what our experience is like when we spend our life chasing things, experiences, feelings. We wind up exhausted since we’ve never stopped to really appreciate where we are. We spend our life constantly distracted by acquiring the next shiny new person, thing, feeling, experience and never truly live in the moment.
The goal of saṁtoṣa is to slow down so that we can gain more from our experience of life. It’s kind of like going to a really fancy restaurant. They don’t serve a lot of food on the plate. The portions are very small, but they are rich in flavor and are meant to be slowly savored and enjoyed. The chef’s infuse the plates with love for their craft and it shows in the presentation. Saṁtoṣa asks us to treat the moments of our life like a rare delicacy rather than a fast food meal that we often just choke down without much thought.
The only time many see how precious life is, is when it is threatened or lost. At funerals people are given a gift, Spirit comes to say, “Hey! You over there… how are you enjoying your own life? This doesn’t last forever you know…” Yet, we mourn and grieve, think about the meaning we are attributing to our own life, and then time moves on and we forget… we move on and fall into the same patterns we’ve grown accustomed to. We go back to the dead-end job we hate, we continue arguing with the same people, we don’t lose the weight we’ve been saying we wanted to, etc.
Saṁtoṣa presents the truth that life is sacred, no matter the experience. ALL EXPERIENCE IS A GIFT! Would you rather have none? It asks us to treat every moment as such and remember to say “thank you.” In fact, the practice of gratitude is what helps to foster contentment. The more we can look around and appreciate the electricity we have lighting our homes, the bodies we have that allow us the human experience, the oxygen floating through the air that sustains us, the water that we have so conveniently at our disposal, the rivers for cleansing and purifying the water, the trees that birth the fruits we eat and nurture the birds that sing their songs for us, etc. There is so much that we can look at with awe and wonder in this world despite the headlines in the news. In fact, if more of us took our eyes off of the news to explore the many ways that life gives to us, I think maybe there wouldn’t be so much “bad” news to report. It’s hard to be grateful and be miserable at the same time. I dare you to try it!