There’s something beautiful that happens when I get outside and spend time in nature on my own. I had the privilege of going for a solo bike ride this evening and was met with the crisp autumn air and the beauty of my city. It’s funny how the same place can look and feel so different when you change your mindset and start to appreciate life more. Maybe it’s aging, or maybe it’s the effort I have put into gaining wisdom, but I feel a renewed love for the simple things in life. For instance, the breeze cooling my skin while coasting along makes me feel so alive. I felt as though my body were a knife slicing through a sliver of soft cheese as I broke through the wind before me. I felt the beat of my heart in tune with the rhythm of the music and the motion of my feet dancing on the pedals with each beat. Everything was flowing with such ease and order all to the same tempo of life.
There is a silent camaraderie on the bike path… as I passed by walkers; some walking alone, some with friends (human or canine); I felt that we were all enjoying the beauty of it together. Passing by other cyclists, there was this feeling of, “I see you and recognize myself in you.” I especially enjoy the joggers and runners, probably because I am not one. I see them and think, “Look at you pushing yourself, digging deep, and overcoming each urge to stop in favor of continuing on… growing stronger not only physically, but mentally as well.” It’s a beautiful place to spend time and one of my favorite things to do for myself. It makes me happy!
I share this today, partly because I didn’t have a topic that was screaming at me to be written, and partly because it reminds me to make time for the activities, places, and people that allow me to experience the joy of being alive. Throughout my life, I have found myself in periods of quiet desperation. From the outside, it has always looked good, yet I have often found myself in a game of hide and seek with joy where it has gone into hiding for far too long. As I look back, I realize the errors of my ways… the primary one being that I was the seeker yet I expected joy to find me. In order to experience more joy, we have to remember to seek it more frequently. It is there waiting to be found if only we would look.
Today, for example, when I came home from walking with my daughter while she rode her bike, I made the decision to go for my own bike ride. I said to my fiancé, “I think I want to go for a quick ride myself. This weather is amazing and we wont be able to enjoy it for much longer…. ‘Winter is coming!’ (Insert Game of Thrones voice here).” I could have let his response change my mind when he said, “It’s going to get dark soon. You better hurry up.” Or “Are you sure you want to do that given your skin right now?” (Dealing with a minor rash again from contact dermatitis, but haven’t found out what I may have an allergy to yet, so that’s fun. It’s been an odd year, but that is another story for another day.) I could have said, “You know, you’re right. I am just going to stay home,” but I would have missed out.
The point is we have to actively make space for and choose our joy. It isn’t going to come and pull the covers off of you while you wallow in your sorrow. It isn’t going to invade your home when you make the same choice to isolate, stay in, and watch Netflix for the 3rd week in a row and then complain you are lonely. It’s like any relationship… we have to make space in our lives and set aside some time for it otherwise it we won’t get to experience much of it. We are living in relationship with more than just each other and other physical beings. We are actively navigating relationship with what we’d like to feel on a regular basis. We can align our lives in a way that we can feel more of what we want much more frequently. We just have to choose it!
What is your relationship with joy like? Are you getting together with “her” enough? Are you welcoming her into your space? If not, why not?
If you would like to go deeper exploring questions like these, I offer personal coaching sessions and would be honored to assist you in the process of self-discovery so that you develop tools and resources to guide your life in a more optimal direction. Make space for the creation of your joy today!