There was a hint of foreshadowing in my last post concerning the topic of today, brahmacarya, which literally means “walking with God” and has been interpreted by many to mean celibacy or abstinence. Personally, I gravitate to the idea of taming one’s desires or “nonexcess.” The idea of walking with God, as any person of faith can tell you, is that we trust God will provide us with what we need and remove from our lives that which we don’t. We often take the approach of, what will be, will be in life, which leads to an attitude of acceptance as we know there is a plan far greater than our own that has dominion over our lives. Personally, when I look at what it means to “walk with God,” I go back to the principles that repeat over and over again in the Bible, the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, and the teachings of other spiritual guides. I review the guideposts and see how I can better apply each one into my own life. I use the guideposts like the yamas, niyamas, 10 commandments, etc. as a sort of navigational compass over my life and try to live my life more in line with the teachings of those who understood how to live in a peaceful and harmonious way. After all, don’t we all want more peace and joy in our lives?
In order to walk the path laid out by the saints and others who seemed to know a thing or 2 about what it means to live a blessed life, we must sacrifice some of our desires or lusts. This is what I think is meant by brahmacarya. This idea is not popular in the United States of America, that’s for sure. I live in a country where it’s all about excess, living larger than life (though that’s a silly saying because nothing can be larger than life itself), having it all, doing it all, being it all. Advertising is thrown in your face at every turn yelling at you that you are not enough until you have “this”, “that”, or “the other thing.” Some corporate cultures send the same message, “Do more, be more, achieve, achieve, achieve!” This country brainwashes people into the idea that it is possible to “have it all,” “be it all,” “do it all.” It’s basically the opposite of brahmacarya.
Brahmacarya asks us to take the approach of non-excess or what, I think, Buddhism would describe as “the middle way.” Have enough, but not too much. I touched on this when I reviewed asteya (non-stealing) in some respect and will elaborate here. Anything in excess usually turns into a curse. Too much food, obesity. Lots of sugary sweetness, diabetes. Overuse of alcohol or drugs, destruction of life in addiction. Too many toys, spoiled and ungrateful attitudes. Too high a focus on being thin, eating disorders. Pushing the body to excess, injuries. The concept of brahmacarya is meant to bless your life, not to steal from it. It asks that you be mindful of what you are taking, the quantities that you are taking, and why you are taking. It asks that you attempt to balance what you take with what you give to avoid hoarding and excess in life. It asks that you control your desires to avoid excess and the temptations that may wreak havoc on your life should you let them in. It is not suppression of desire, but simply conscious choice over desire… not letting it run amuck. It asks that we utilize self-discipline to make choices that lift us up rather than give us a temporary high only to plunge us into the depths of despair thereafter. It asks that we exercise control by focusing our attention on goodness that will elevate our lives rather than things that will tear us down.
I think brahmacarya has a place in personality traits and relationships as well. For instance, it’s hard to have a relationship with someone who always has to have control, they always pick the restaurants, always choose the activities, etc. At some point, the other person within the relationship starts to feel neglected, as though their preferences aren’t valued or considered. It’d also be difficult to be with someone who never stopped talking and sharing. At some point, it becomes tiresome listening to them go on and on about their lives and becomes unappealing. When someone monopolizes a conversation, usually those involved in the conversation start to “tap out.” It’s often said that there are “givers” and “takers” in relationships, but brahmacarya asks us to balance out our taking with our giving. When someone takes too much, we start to feel taken advantage of. When someone gives too much, we start to feel as though we’re insufficient or as if we aren’t giving enough. It may be just me, but I have a hard time being around people who require “too much” attention… the type that is always the loudest in the room, super boisterous, with a needy “look at me” type of energy. I find them a little too excessive for my taste. There’s now a popular phrase for these personality types… “Extra,” which is a very fitting description, but not at all what the principle of brahmacarya represents.
In observing brahmacarya, one must be mindful of materialism. The minimalist approach is in line with this principle. Treat everything as sacred. Love the things or people you bring into your life or let go. In America, we have storage facilities that encourage the hoarding of stuff. People have garages, basements, and attics filled to the brim with collections of things that they’ve hoarded through the years. Our garbage dumps and waste facilities are inundated with the processing of single use items all readily discarded without much thought. We get high off the purchase, but when that “high” wears off, into the trash or donation pile it goes. We repeat the pattern over and over again without giving it any regard. When is enough? Brahmacarya asks us to pay attention to our behavior. It asks us to notice when our activity ceases to fill the void and say “enough” at that point. Anything thereafter is a curse… cluttering the mind, cluttering the home, and robbing us of life energy (aka prana).
Brahmacarya asks us to abstain/hold back on desire. Some translations of Patanjali’s sutras regard this primarily in a sexual sense indicating that energy is saved when we don’t expend our vital (life) energy on sexual endeavors. The idea behind this is that the seminal fluid provides strength and stamina to the brain and nerves so by expending it in fruitless pleasure, we are robbing ourselves (asteya/non-stealing) and the other of life-force meant to nourish their body and serve others. The seminal fluid is thought to be like the charge of a battery, when we exhaust it in lust, we have less energy to serve others. When we store it, we are much more powerful and can use the energy to have greater positive impact on the world. So, again, the idea here is to regulate sexual activity so that you aren’t excessive and expending most of your energy pursuing and engaging in sex, but rather making the world a better place to live. It’s also about exercising the other principles which lead to a high self-worth and results in being more selective about who you share yourself with in that way. There is an example in the translation by Sri Swami Satchidananda that goes as follows:
These days many people are interested in pre-marital “tests.” That is something like going to a shopkeeper and asking the price of a few apples.
“A dollar,” the shopkeeper says.
“Are they any good?” you ask.
“Sure.”
“I think I’ll try one.”
Shopkeepers will never let us do that. They’ll let us smell an apple and check out it’s size and shape, but they’ll never let us sample it before buying. Are people inferior to apples? Should they allow everyone to come and bite before buying?
In essence brahmacarya requires us to abstain from acts that lessen our prana (life energy / zeal for life). When we find ourselves shackled to desire without exercising conscious control over what we allow into our lives, we become prisoners to life rather than creators of it. Many spiritual practices encourage spiritual fasting. Brahmacarya is the reason for this. When we remove all of the excess, we can clearly see what is needed. When we clearly see what it is that we need, we realize we are ok without all of the excess and then have more conscious control over what we wish to allow into our lives. Fasting is a remembrance that we don’t need much of what we think we do to be happy. Brahmacarya asks us to hold sacred whatever we allow to exist in the space of our lives and if we cannot do so, to let it go and avoid the excess clutter.
Where in your life are you drowning in excess? Is there anything that you need some help to let go of? If so, please contact me. I offer personal yoga and coaching sessions and would love to serve you.