What Do You Want?

We live in a fast-paced world. If you are a working parent, you realize that there is barely enough time to spend quality time with our children before they go to bed when we are putting them to bed at a reasonable hour to ensure their physical health and mental acuity for the next day. If we do anything at all after work, there goes the time we could be mindfully engaged in letting our children know they matter. Often, I feel our society is fixated on the wrong things and many of us are just “doing what we’ve got to do.” We maintain the status quo waking up for work, spending our days at jobs we’re not really passionate about and lack purpose in, then drive home to put dinner on the table, eat, and get everyone ready for bed to do it all again without giving it much thought.

Everyone seems to be focused on acquiring the money they believe is necessary to support their families and build “better lives” for themselves and their children, but I wonder if we’re focused on the wrong things. The better life is now… the time we are giving away to meaningless things is keeping us from that better life. I feel that we are all living on autopilot, like cogs in a machine. We play our role in the corporate machine that fuels capitalism. I’m not really sure how I feel about capitalism. On one hand, the argument can be made that it has fueled innovations that have provided us lives of ease and comfort in many ways. On the other hand, I feel it has been tearing away at what really matters in life… people, their health, and wellbeing.

The desire to be “successful” has caused a lot of stress and has added a lot of pressure to individuals. The need to acquire has also saddled many with a heavy burden of debt, which also adds to the stress and desire to be “successful.” In addition, the current system acts as a form of modern-day slavery with those in power at the top calling the shots and the rest of those underneath them working to fill their pockets. At what point do people start realizing the cost of their desires? Do you really want to continue to live in this way to fuel your desire for more? Do you really want to continue feeding the beast?

I’m finding truth in the minimalist movement these days as it seems these individuals are onto something. Rather than seeking to become more financially solvent or successful by amassing more possessions and wealth, they are seeking to minimize their “needs,” which allows them the freedom to do more of what they love with the time and resources that they have. I’ve decided that my primary goal at this time is freedom. I don’t care about amassing things, but I do care about breaking free of corporate America and driving my own ship. I care about spending my time how I choose to spend it each day. I care about being able to pick my daughter up from school and spend time with her creating memories. I care about being healthy and not making myself sick with stress. I care about living a peaceful and balanced life without unnecessary worries.

I choose to trust that if I pull back from work that is not inspiring to do what brings me joy that I will be provided for. I choose to trust that if I abolish greed in my life that I will be rewarded. I believe that if I follow the dream that’s been placed in my heart it will lead to all the riches I need, whether those be monetary riches or spiritual/intangible riches. I choose to trust that God has placed these ideas in my mind for a reason and I choose to follow them and see them through. I choose to birth my dreams into reality and be the vessel that they have asked to come through. I choose to work toward minimalizing my material needs in order to create the security I am comfortable with to leap in faith into a new endeavor. I realize that last statement sounds contradictory, but I’ve decided it is wise to prepare the field for planting before tossing the seeds in.

I remember early on in therapy, the therapist asking me, “What do you want?” I didn’t really have a defined answer and was actually caught off guard by the question. At that time, I was floundering in the ocean flailing around with all the energy I’d had to keep myself from drowning. I was grieving the person I’d been…. the one who I’d lost along the way. I was spinning in all directions trying to find my footing once again. It was like being in a home hit by an earthquake, where the house just crumbles all around you because of a faulty foundation. I was a fool then leading my life for momentary pleasures and not for a permanent kingdom. I hadn’t been intentionally living my life, but was letting it all just be what it may. I was eating from the fruits that presented themselves in the moment without questioning whether they would make me sick later and yet I considered myself to be a “smart” individual.

As I write this blog, it dawns on me that I can now answer this question without hesitation. I know what I want and am in the process of aligning my life to obtain (and in some cases maintain) it. I want peace. I want joy. I want freedom. I want to spend my time loving people and loving where & how I spend my time. I want health. I want to make a large positive impact in this world by partnering with God to help others heal and carve their own path toward what they want (assuming what they want is positive). I want to leave a legacy behind. I want my family, especially my daughter, to be healthy, happy and whole. I want my relationships to be happy, healthy, and whole. I want experiences that stretch me and grow me into the beautiful creation that God has destined for me to become. I want to die proud of the life I’ve lived and rich with experience and wisdom.  That’s it in a nutshell.

So now I’m in the process of making choices that align with my path and feel that I am building on a firm foundation. I’m basing my life on truth… not desire, not ego. I’m not living my life in reactionary/defensive mode any longer, but in offensive mode and that makes me “dangerous.” Not in an “evil” way, but in a powerful way. I’m living from the inside out and not the outside in. Join me on the offensive! It feels great!

What do you want? How are you currently living your life (outside in or inside out)? Are the “fruits” you are choosing to “eat” making you healthier or sick? I’d love to help you on your journey. Feel free to reach out and contact me or sign up for one on one yoga or coaching.

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