Asteya: The Observance of NonStealing

When we think of stealing, we often think about the very clear act of taking something that does not belong to you. Things like robbing a store, taking something from someone who hasn’t given us permission, or embezzling may jump out at you. However, the yogic yama of asteya speaks much more deeply than this. Not only is it possible to steal in a material sense, but it is also possible to steal in a nonphysical one. Because most of us understand that we should not take that which does not belong to us, I’m going to focus on the ways that we steal that are not always immediately apparent.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who seems to have to one-up everything you say? If you tell them that you went to New Hampshire for a weekend trip, they begin to tell you about their latest excursion to Paris. If you tell them you bought a new car, they talk about how they are planning to buy a more expensive car a few months from now. This is considered stealing. Those that do this are robbing the joy and enthusiasm from others by consistently trying to be or have “more” than the other person. If more than just 2 people are involved in the conversation, they are also stealing attention away from the other person. Those that do this are doing so out of insecurity within themselves. By practicing asteya, we begin to see ourselves more clearly and do the inner work necessary to fill ourselves up so that we don’t consistently feel the need to compare ourselves to others or one-up others in some way. When we one-up someone else, what we are really saying is “I feel insignificant and need to beat you in the game of life to feel significant.” This is the opposite of embracing our wholeness that is God given. Of course, a relationship requires that we also have the opportunity to share of ourselves, but we should not do so at the expense of the other. Check your motives when sharing to ensure that they are not meant to diminish someone else’s experience and ensure that the relationship is balanced in reciprocity.

To even be jealous of another is a form of stealing. We wish to steal the experience of another for ourselves. As I mentioned previously, everything happens in our thoughts first. Jealousy is the first inkling within us that it may be “ok” to steal because we have been “wronged” in some way. Asteya asks us to keep our eyes in our own lane, to focus not on those around us, but on what our gifts and talents are and use them to the best of our ability to achieve the life that we dream of having. The problem arises when we don’t have dreams of our own to focus on. Issues abound when we can’t recognize the blessings we have within us that are meant to serve the world. Instead of cultivating our own power and riches, we seek to steal someone else’s. The concept of adikara speaks to the right to know or the right to have. We must earn the right to have through building our competency with our right to know. Most of us have the right to know anything we want to know, especially now in the information age. Yet, many of us choose to remain ignorant of what is required to change our current situation when we are not happy. Asteya asks us to spend our time becoming capable of handling what we ask for. It asks that we become available for what we want.

Not only do we steal from each other in the present moment, we also steal from future generations by the way we behave today. When we cannot have the decency to pick up after ourselves on this planet, we create a worse environment for future generations than what we were given. I’ve noticed this carelessness increasing with the presence of covid-19. Stores now give sanitizing wipes to wipe down carriages prior to use and as you go to pick your carriage it seems the old sanitizing wipes from the person prior are just carelessly left behind within the cart. Disposable gloves and masks litter the parking lots because some can’t be bothered to hang onto them until they find a trash receptacle. This is stealing… we are stealing from others in a sense that we are dirtying the planet that we share with so many other creatures and also breaking the principle of ahimsa (non-harming) in the process. Picking up after ourselves and maintaining the cleanliness of the planet is basic consideration that ensures future generations inherit a beautifully maintained planet to live on.

The overuse of resources is also stealing. When we act in greed, disregarding what is left for others or for the future, we are stealing both from ourselves and future generations. When we take resources that do not belong to us (milk from other species, lives, etc.) without regard for who is impacted and the quality of life we are creating as a result of our actions, we are stealing. I love the book and the movie “The Lorax” because it speaks so eloquently to this. When we overbuy and hoard supplies in times of trouble for fear of not having enough, we are stealing. This was evident with the toilet paper and sanitizer shortage that Covid-19 brought about. There is enough to go around when we can all be mindful of one another and not act out of fear and blatant disregard for other’s lives.

Speaking of stealing from future generations, failing to do our own inner work fails future generations also. When we react out of our own personal trauma and unload on our children with words or behaviors that aren’t reflective of our innate goodness, we steal from their future. In essence, we saddle them with the same baggage that was handed down to us. The Bible speaks of generational curses and when we neglect to clean up the emotional garbage that was handed down to us, we pass it on to our children. So often, we see in families when one has an alcohol or drug problem, their children offer suffer with addiction issues also. Your trauma is not your fault, but it is your responsibility. Only you can cleanse your own soul and do what’s best for you in this moment. You can unlearn unhealthy patterns and this is what the 8 limbs of Patanjali help us to do.

In addition, when we fail to speak up for what’s right, we also fail our children, grandchildren, etc. When we see certain members of our society being treated in a way that is disparate to other members of our society, it is our duty to balance the scales and ensure fair treatment of all people. When we allow women to be treated as less than, guess what… inevitably there will be women in your own family who suffer the consequences. When we allow people of different races to be treated unfairly, guess what… inevitably it will impact your family whether it be in the form of a future revolution or an interracial relationship. When we enact policies that do not serve the highest good of all and put too much power in the hands of a small few, future generations are left with the impact. Karma is indeed a concept of yoga… no deed goes without consequence. These consequences are not necessarily a punishment from God, but results that occur either directly or indirectly because of your actions. Every action has impact, no matter how small. Asteya, too, asks us to consider the impact of our actions on the whole, just as ahimsa (non-harming) does. It asks us to consider each choice before us as though it will matter several generations down the road, because many will. The world we have now, is a result of what those who came before either gave or stole. Our ancestors have gotten us to this point. Where will we go from here?

One of the less obvious ways we steal from others is by not allowing life to be their teacher. This is really relatable when you are a parent. You desire to shield and protect your child from anything that may hurt them but forget that often you learned the most from those times that you were hurt. When we overprotect or shield those we love from life experience… specifically the experience of enduring suffering, we rob them of the lessons that are hidden within. Often the product of over-sheltering is a naive person who is less capable than they otherwise would have been had they been gifted with experience. Again, there is a balance here. I’m not saying to let your kid light the house on fire because they need to learn from life, but just to be mindful of where it is safe to let them fall so that they can learn how to lift themselves back up. (Note: this behavior can also be seen in the enabling of addicts)

Up to this point, I’ve explained this concept related to how it is applied to others, but like ahimsa, we must also practice this concept with ourselves. We need to focus on not robbing ourselves of the opportunities that lie before us, which will allow us to fulfill our dreams. Remember, adikara… we must become capable of holding that which we desire. To become capable, we must remain devoted to our own evolution and not sell ourselves short. One of the yoga teachers I’ve had the pleasure of learning from often says, “If you can, you must,” during asana practice. In other words, if we are able, we owe it to ourselves to do the work so that we grow. We cannot allow ourselves to become lazy and give up on our dreams. We deserve to love ourselves enough to pursue our goals and grow beyond our current limitations… to do what is necessary to get us where we want to go.

Another way that I see people stealing from themselves often is by failing to nourish the bodies they were given. There are so many people that eat foods we know to be unhealthy, fail to exercise their bodies, put substances into their body that are scientifically proven to cause health problems, etc. When I look around, I see these people stealing from their own greatness out of a lack of self-respect, self-discipline, and self-love. Asteya asks that we treat ourselves lovingly enough so that we do not steal our health from ourselves. I am aware that yoga is also about balance and I’m not referring to the occasional piece of chocolate cake, or the occasional glass of wine, but more about the patterns of excessive disregard that cause health effects down the road. Remember, every action has a consequence. Personally, I strive for the 100%, but often find myself more in line with the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time I eat healthy and nourish my body well, but if I want to indulge in dessert, then I do without guilt or judgment.

Alternatively, people also steal from themselves when they force their bodies to move beyond their pain tolerance and instead of steady growth, inflict self-harm. Athletes are often culprits of this. I agree with pushing limits, but with love and respect for one’s body. When injury inevitably occurs from pushing too hard, too fast, you’ve stolen your ability to participate in physical activity at the level you enjoy for a period of time, sometimes permanently. What good is that?

When we consider how we are stealing from ourselves, we also need to look at the relationships we’ve built. Are we getting what we need and deserve from them or are we leaving the potential for more on the table? In other words, are we selling ourselves short by settling for someone who can’t love us because they are emotionally or otherwise unavailable? Are we doing the healing we need to do so that we don’t sabotage the relationship or are we robbing ourselves of that opportunity? When we allow ourselves to stay in relationships that are not good for us we rob ourselves of the opportunity to find ones that are… romantically or otherwise. Asteya asks us to become who we are looking for (adikara) and to not allow ourselves to be undervalued in our relationships.

There are many ways we steal from ourselves and I could stay on this topic all day. However, I’ll close with one that I feel is extremely important. We need not rob ourselves or others of grace, compassion, and forgiveness when inevitably we don’t get all of these principles exactly right. Principles are guideposts, but I don’t want you to feel miserable if you get lost on the way or judge others for their misdeeds. We are human and we all fumble and mess up sometimes. The key here is to set our gaze consistently on the highest standard. Where our gaze goes, energy follows. I put this information out there in hopes that your gaze is lifted even a tiny bit higher.

If my work serves you, share it. If you want to take yourself higher and would like some support, please contact me for private coaching or yoga sessions. I can help.