Don’t offload your trauma onto your children, otherwise your children will feel the same way that you do someday and they deserve better. At times in my own life, I’ve offloaded my own frustration onto my daughter. Many of us have done it. We are stressed out, they are there and our energy ends up trickling over and spilling over onto them. No matter what we are filling our cup with, there is only so much room in that cup. If we are filling the cup with love, joy and gratitude then this spills out onto those around us. Likewise, if we have a cup full of resentment, hurt, anger, despair, disappointment and stress then this too spills over onto those in our circle.
Many of us had parents or others in our lives whose cup was not full of deliciousness. They, too, were served by others whose cups were not filled with the most delightful stuff. Unfortunately, we learn to pour what we’ve been served until we realize that we are now both the server and the guest. When we realize this then we begin by emptying the cup that was previously full of piss and vinegar and start pouring the beverage of our own choosing into our pitcher. We begin to serve ourselves the goodness we wish to drink and start serving others with that same goodness.
It isn’t our parents’ fault for serving us what they most likely received. When we grow up, we instinctively do what we know until we discover that ‘what we know’ may not be making us feel very good. That cup of piss and vinegar ultimately makes us so sick that we are left with no other option, but to seek out information and discover that there are better beverages out there. We then learn how to obtain some of that and start filling our own pitcher.
I am so thankful that I discovered this early on in my child’s life. Had I realized this a moment later, it may have been too late and I may have caused emotional damage that would take time to repair, if ever she was fortunate enough to realize she had the power to heal and overcome. The great thing about kids is they are resilient, they forgive and forget most times. The repair is much easier while they are young if the mistakes are countered with love and kindness.
No matter how you were raised, whatever emotional build up you accumulated from those surrounding you in your formative years, you have the power to break the generational curse(s) through your own healing. The minute you make the choice to empty out the piss and vinegar you were served is the minute the curse is broken. Once empty, you can begin refilling with what you wish you were served so that you can serve your own child and others around you in a new way.
What’s in your cup? Have you checked lately? Tell me about it.