As I sit here tonight, I’m reflecting on the fact that it’s been a little while since I’ve written a new piece. Part of it is because I felt that the noise of politics would simply drown out anything that I put out there over the past week or so and part of it is because I’ve just felt a little stuck in my own personal practice. With the weather growing colder, the time inside growing as well, I’ve been struggling with a bit of seasonal depression if I’m being honest. While I love New England for it’s changing seasons, I also take some time to adjust to them when they shift. I’ve been having to dig deeper into my gratitude practice in order to embrace the cooler temperatures, the death of a season, and the birth of a new one. As the leaves fall from the trees and die, I’m finding that some of the energy within me is starting to “die” as well and there is a slowing of pace to some degree.
As I think about the death of this season, I’m reminded to allow myself to experience change without fighting it. I’m finding grace for myself as I sometimes lull into a comfy spot on the couch with a blanket and a book rather than creating or doing something that requires any real effort. Self-care requires that at times… especially as the world around us continues to dramatically change (or so it feels this year). Sometimes, we just need to be still and choose not to “do” anything but focus solely on being for a time. They say that writers and teachers often speak the words they most need to hear and it feels as though that is what I am doing this evening… offering myself the words that I most need to hear with a knowing that others probably need to hear them too.
It is ok and even beneficial to be still to regain balance, integrate lessons, and reflect on all that is in each moment. In fact, it is a must. I know many of you probably aren’t as interested in the Bible as I am, but there are many everyday lessons within it that I often hear running through my head in moments of my life. As I write tonight, I hear,
“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”
– Genesis 2:2 KJV
Rest is critical and while many Type A’s find it hard to do without pouring on guilt, shame, and self-loathing, I implore you to do it and learn how to silence the voices that wish to condemn you for it. There is so much to be gained from stillness. I find every time I am lulled into hibernation mode, I “awake” with a renewed sense of energy, inspiration, and a new understanding of what is important.
This is especially true today as I feel such gratitude for the day I’ve just experienced. I spent the day very simply, yet the joy I felt was immense. I went to my mother’s for lunch and bingo with my grandfather. Yes, we took precautions given the current climate, but something really stuck out to me today. As we try to keep our elderly grandparents and loved ones safe, we may be harming them by depriving them of the memories they so wish to make while they have the time. I asked my grandfather earlier this week if he was interested in company given the current risks and without hesitation he indicated, “I’m accepting visitors.” We spent today socially distanced in the living room, playing round after round of bingo, laughing, and sharing in community with one another and it meant something. It’s a memory that my 7-year-old daughter will have forever of the man who has an extremely special place in my heart.
As with rest, balance is required under today’s circumstances. Should we assume that our elderly parents and grandparents prefer safety over quality time and memories made? I believe many of the elderly have a deeper level of acceptance than many of us younger folks do. They’ve lived enough to experience hard times, tragedy, loss, and the pain of living, which has made many of them stronger and more capable of facing the current health crisis we’re in. However, should we throw caution to the wind, snuggle up close with them, hold hands as we may wish to, or give them a kiss hello and goodbye? Probably not… There are some adaptations that need to be made to find that place of balance. Should we desert them under the assumption that they want to remain “safe”? Again, probably not. Health requires connection. I don’t think we’re doing anyone any favors by disconnecting from sharing our love with those whom we treasure, while using this health crisis as an excuse. Scientifically, it’s proven that it is not (https://www.health.harvard.edu/mental-health/can-relationships-boost-longevity-and-well-being).
In fact, I wonder if my re-emergence from my slump is in part because of the time spent today and the imprint it made on my heart (the feeling of genuine gratitude and love)… or maybe it’s the coffee I’d had. I don’t drink it often and consider it a special treat when I have it at my mom’s house, though I really believe it’s the former, since I actually should be crashing from my caffeine high by this time. Time spent with loved ones is rejuvenating. Love is life enhancing and part of increasing health. I am doing what I can to boost my immunity rather than dwell on the “what ifs” of the current situation, while heeding the recommendations of scientists and taking adequate precautions in so doing. We can continue to love, even in times of crisis. In fact, it’s ever more important to love in times of crisis because it’s precisely when we all need it most.
How have you been adapting to the current health crisis? Have you found ways to stay in touch with those you love and experience the joy of connection? How have these new times impacted your well-being?