Sometimes we get a gem of wisdom gifted to us by another. Today, while making small talk with a woman who I see frequently at my yoga studio, I was gifted such a moment. She asked how my daughter was and I said, “She’s great except for when she tests me, which seems to be fairly often lately,” and then she responded, “She’s only testing herself.” When she said that, it was a reminder for me. It sunk in deeply pointing to the truth that she is just testing out different ways of being in this world.
She’s working through understanding what happens when she acts kind and what happens when she doesn’t. She’s working through learning how her emotions are to be cared for or not. There are so many things she is working through, but so often I don’t step outside of myself to see this… especially in moments of extreme emotional outburst or other socially described moments of “bad” behavior. It was a call to step outside of myself and empathize with her instead of feeling as though I am being tested. This mindset sets up a battle, me against you. I must pass this test or I must win this war.
Her kind words gave me a hugely different way of looking at the difficult moments with my daughter and may be allowing me to see her moments of struggle to be kind in a different light. I feel it’s another token on my path to becoming love and I am open to absorbing this way of thinking into my being so that it results in more kindness and more peace. My job is to support her while she “tests herself” and show her outcomes that help her understand what works and what doesn’t.
She is not doing anything to me, though it feels that way sometimes when she refuses to listen or pitches a fit because I’ve said “No” to a request she’s made. I understand that my reaction is solely my ego in play. It is the fragile me feeling unheard, attacked, and unsafe in the moment. It is the fragile me perceiving the situation as a threat and reacting to protect this version of self. Through doing a lot of inner work, which has allowed me to gain the ability to see the ego in play, I know this to be true. Although, like all of us, in the moment, I sometimes lose sight of that truth.
I’m working on becoming so immersed in the truth that the ego does not have any hold in my life. I’m working to move into a place where I am always in the moment and always extremely self-aware so that default reactions (aka protective mode) do not take over. This statement was such a gift because it helped me to see an area where my ego was speaking instead of me, where my thinking was ego driven instead of love/reality driven. Now that I see it, I can choose love.
Thank you to the lovely woman at yoga today, whose name I cannot recall. You’ve been a messenger of God to me today reminding me to view all situations through the eyes of love. While I thought I was doing remarkable, there is still work to be done. I still am and will most likely always be a work in progress.
I used to hate the idea that the work would never be done, but I’m learning to embrace this as it makes the journey so much more interesting and allows me to shift into new and higher versions of myself with each breath and each gift of wisdom. Thank you universe for constantly allowing me to work for progress!
Have you ever had someone say something that felt divine? What did they say and how did it impact you? When tested by another, can you alter the way you look at the situation to see with eyes of love?