My day started off a bit rocky. The 5-year-old diva who lives under my roof decided that she did not want to be a cooperative member of the familial unit today. I’m not entirely sure if she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or what transpired, but she was adamant that she did not wish to get dressed this morning. Usually, we can set the timer on Alexa for 5 minutes and let her know that when the timer goes off, she will lose out on something that she wants to do if she does not start cooperating. This usually works, but for some reason it failed this morning.
When the timer went off, her dad laid into her a bit and tried to push her to get dressed by getting louder and letting her know he meant business. That failed. I then chimed in and spoke with her in the manner of “good cop” and explained that as a family we have to work together and help one another and that we were simply asking her to help by doing her part to get ready for school this morning. I explained the importance of making good choices and that we had to think about the outcome of each one of our choices and assess where our actions are taking us in each moment. Well, that didn’t really work either as she still refused to get dressed.
Lastly, after calling out to Jesus with some phrase like, “Jesus Christ I am really trying here… I hope the effort is not going unnoticed.” I told her that she was getting one final chance and if she chose not to cooperate then I was going to take her out of the house in pajamas, hair undone, and teeth unbrushed if she did not get dressed by the time 5 minutes was up. Actually, I said, “You’re on your 3rd strike. I’m telling you, this is the last chance. If you don’t choose to ‘begin again’ the right way this time, then you’re out this house exactly as you are.” This finally worked and she turned her act around. Thanks Jesus!
After about 40 minutes of coercing her to cooperate and get ready for school, I was a little worn out. My demeanor was no longer cheerful, and I found myself grimacing with negative energy. I was tired and it was only about 8am. I’ve become more reflective this year of situations that shift my spirits, as a result, I’m able to keep my cool most days when things don’t go how I’d like them too.
This morning, I know some of it was about wanting to control the situation. I wanted her to get ready. She on the other hand did not. I know it was also about feeling unheard and disrespected. It never feels good when someone blatantly ignores a request you’ve made of them, especially when the request seems rather simplistic in nature. We can end up finding ourselves in a battle of wills, a power struggle that leaves everyone worn out and unhappy. Nobody wins. I can also own up to the fact that when there is a timeframe on life, sometimes anxiety can take hold of me. As the time passes and the event nears, I get increasingly short in patience. It’s as though there is a timer winding me up tighter and tighter as we near the time we must leave the house. This last one, I have to thank my mom for since some of her anxiety has rubbed off on me. Thanks Mom!
Overall, I think I did well this morning. I kept my cool, for the most part. I got stern but didn’t start yelling and losing it. I intentionally maintained my composure, though it took more focus than I had planned on. I literally had to stop and pray mid-situation because I was about to start going off after about 30 minutes of trying to get her to get dressed, but I didn’t.
Growth! I’m proud of myself for keeping it together this morning because this little girl was really trying me. I think life is funny that way. Every so often the universe will throw us some situation that directly calls us to practice something we think we’ve mastered. I notice this happens when we seem to be onto a new life lesson and we’re working on growing out of or into another way of being in another area. It’s almost like a pop quiz where the old material resurfaces just to make sure that we haven’t lost sight of the old lessons while working on the new.
It was not lost on me that when I called out to Jesus right in the moment I felt I would lose it, she finally cooperated and got her clothes on. Sometimes a little help from the universe is all we need. So often we get lost in ourselves, pushing and pulling in our own will and strength that we forget to take the pause we need to rely on what is greater than ourselves. I’m thankful that I remembered to take a second today before I handled myself in a way that left me feeling bad about my actions. The rest of the morning went smoothly, she did her hair and teeth without much resistance and we made it out the door and to school for a little past 8:30. Not too shabby!
The best part of this story is that she was self-aware enough to acknowledge the lack of harmony she created this morning and apologized on the way to school. As a parent it’s beautiful when you see growth in your child. She used to be stubborn as a mule and we would stress how important admittance and apologies were when we did something wrong. We would basically have to beg for an apology and even then, she was prideful and would resist saying a simple “I’m sorry.” The fact that she now is at a place where she owns up to her actions and apologizes without any type of prompting makes me proud! It makes me feel as though we are doing ok training her up in the way she should go.
How did your morning go? Were any of you met with a similar struggle as you left the house this morning? How did you respond? What did the situation teach you?