Priorities… they define so much of one’s life and yet many times we don’t take the time to clearly define what they are. How can you live a life that fulfills, when you haven’t yet defined what it is you want to be filled with? Some people fill their lives with ambition… chasing the next dollar, the next car, the next house. Some people fill their lives with the next good time… seeking the next night out with friends. Some fill their lives with travel… always saving and planning for the next trip. Yet, many others fill their time with physical health, spending hours at the gym, prepping food, etc. Others choose family… spending their time caring for and loving on their family. There is no “right” priority, but you may want to clearly define what yours are so that you have a roadmap for how you will spend your time on this planet.
When you have clearly defined priorities, it becomes easier to decide what you will say “yes” to and what to say “no” to. It becomes easier to operate with intention maximizing your available time on the activities that rank highly on the priority list while minimizing those that are lower or do not rank at all. We often travel through life haphazardly and then wonder why we feel unfulfilled. We feel unfulfilled because we haven’t chosen a purpose for our time. We haven’t decided how we will spend it and so we spend hours perusing online without purchase… “window shopping” and watching what others are doing in hopes that suddenly we get struck with some form of inspiration or even worse, that suddenly fulfillment just magically happens.
Sometimes it isn’t just personal emptiness that plagues us. Sometimes it’s relational emptiness. This, too, is an issue of priorities. When you have a partner that doesn’t share similar priorities, things are harder. If you value quality time and they value work above quality time… problems arise. If you prioritize time at home and they value seeing and doing as much in the outside world as they possibly can, more problems. If you value health and fitness, but they would rather enjoy the richer foods and desserts that life has to offer, it could also pose a challenge. If you prioritize sex and physical intimacy, but they are not into it, this, too, creates problems. Differences in priorities when you are supposed to be on the same team creates road bumps. It’s like playing a game of football with players choosing their own plays and not fulfilling the strategy that the coach has laid out. (Note: I’m not an avid football fan so I could have messed up the language here, but you get my drift)
If you aren’t in a relationship, I’d advise that you take some time figuring out what your priorities are before you set foot in the dating pool. It will be so much easier for you because you can easily rule out the potential relationships that will only cause friction early on. What happens with friction… it burns. It may seem exciting or challenging at first, but overtime you find your spirit is getting rubbed raw and things start becoming heated. One or both partners wind up feeling unfulfilled and start blaming one another for it. Realistically, the issue isn’t the other person’s fault, but that you failed to clearly define your priorities and make sure that the person you chose was in alignment with them before you committed yourself.
If you want things to change in your life, then often you need to redefine your priorities and align your actions with those priorities. If you do not, then nothing changes. You’ll continue to move along through life frustrated and miserable because you haven’t done the work to discover what is most important to you. Life is not a fairy godmother that gives you what you wish for whenever you ask. It is more like a beautiful canvas that you get the privilege of leaving your mark on. It requires introspection, action, and adaptation in order to get the picture just right. It requires vision… can you see the end result before you make that first stroke?
If you can’t currently see the picture clearly, I can help you get there. I offer personal coaching and yoga services and would love to help you define yourself for yourself.