I woke up this morning thinking about commitment, self-discipline, and the definition of passion. I recently read a book called, “Everything that Remains,” by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus and it inspired me in a very real way. I felt as though it was divinely put on my path at this point in my life. I feel as though the universe is asking me, “Are you ready to put in the work and make the necessary decisions to claim your blessings?” The whole book was amazing, but the part where the author speaks of wanting to become a writer while he is working in corporate America really hit me hard.” As he starts coming to look more deeply at who he really is and what he wants, he realizes that he’s always loved the art of writing, but never really gave it his all because he was so “busy” with his corporate role, which he didn’t feel any passion for.
“Unfortunately, ‘what I do’ actually gets in the way of “what I’m passionate about,” not allowing me to form the healthy obsession necessary to cultivate that passion. For the last seven years I’ve been an ‘aspiring writer,’ which really just means that I haven’t written all that much, more aspiring than perspiring, as it were.”
He goes on to say, “But while working endless hours – doing ‘what I do’ – and watching my world crumble around me, I haven’t focused on what I’m passionate about. I haven’t made writing a must. Instead it’s been a gigantic ‘should’ in my life. I should write. I frequently remind myself. I should, I should, I should. I’ve said it more times than I can count – just shoulding all over my self.”
As I read this, I felt is so deeply. You see, with the ebb and flow of life I’ve lost the focus on Work4Progress.com. I’ve been working full-time, caring for my family, participating in a yoga teacher training, which requires some serious study and time, and trying to fit in some time for relaxation and socialization. Reading this passage felt like a reminder… “What is it that you say you really want to do Jackie?” followed by “Are you doing it?” and then, “Why not?”
Being the avid reader that I am, I am convinced that God speaks to me through the words of others printed on a page. Mainly books and other writings speak right into my soul at the precise time I need to hear them. While I know I want to share my love of God by teaching yoga and sharing the wisdom teachings I’ve learned with others, I also love writing as an art form that allows me to do the same. I’ve learned so much from so many people I don’t personally know and have never met all because they chose to take the time to capture their thoughts and their knowledge to share it with others. It’s an art of love in my opinion. An art that says, I know so much because others have shared with me and I want to share some of that with others. After all, that’s the primary purpose of books… to share one’s inner world with others in the external world.
Writing also gives to me. It gives me the ability to see my own thoughts outside of me, which really helps me to process and sometimes to reinforce certain lessons. When I write something down, it helps me to see situations in new ways, to question my thoughts and to revise them if needed. I can’t begin to explain how much writing has given me over the years in terms of growth and wisdom into my own psyche. Every now and then I’ll write something and then I’ll consider whether it’s really true or if it’s just fueled by my current emotional state. It’s helped me to see that untamed emotions really can wreak havoc on one’s life. Some of the rants I’ve made on paper when irritated have been utterly irrational. Seeing them on paper helps me to see them from a “reader” perspective and gives me the ability to laugh at myself at times when I’d been taking myself much too seriously.
Needless to say, I can relate to the authors love of writing. It’s something I’m deeply passionate about which is why the next excerpt from the book touched me. “The second part of this strange work/passion phenomenon is just as dangerous: for many years, I’ve confused passion with excitement. An issue people rarely talk about these days is what true passion actually feels like. Instead we assume that passion feels like excitement – that passion is inherently exciting – but that assumption is usually wrong.” As I read this, I realized that I was also utilizing this incorrect assumption as a gauge for my life. I am addicted to excitement as the catalyst for action. When a flood of inspiration hits me and I am so excited about an idea is when I generally make the time to write. He goes on to say that, “Excitement comes and goes: it wanes when times get hard, when the work gets tough, when creative flow turns into drudgery.” Paraphrasing, he then explains that true passion, however, arises after you’ve put in the long hours necessary to become skilled and then choose to use that skill to have an impact, gain autonomy, and respect, to shape and control your destiny. Passion isn’t followed, it’s cultivated.
Wow! Just wow, reading this passage made me see how little self-discipline I’ve been applying in the craft of writing. Not only in writing, but this has been a theme of my life. In relationships when I was younger, I often took the first sign of boredom as not being as interested in someone and seeking out someone else. Any lack of excitement, especially in the bedroom, had me thrown into fear that something was horribly wrong. The expectation of excitement conjoined with the idea of passion made me feel that I was living a life that somehow didn’t measure up to the life I should be living, which left me feeling continuously disappointed and seeking for something more. It left me dispassionate 100% of the time. This is no way to live this beautiful gift we’re given… always “not enough”, perpetually disappointed, always lacking something. The demon of lack had invaded my spirit while chasing the passion I felt was supposed to be part of my life.
Note: I’ve learned that any time you are using words like “always”, “supposed to”, or “should” you need to check the beliefs you are holding around what it is you are discussing. I was a #1 offender of this and still sometimes catch myself doing this. Old habits die hard.
I know I am not the only person who confused passion for feeling excitement about someone or something. For the longest time I failed to accept that the loss of excitement was normal and that life was full of mountains and valleys. I wanted to be on the mountain top all the time, which sent me into a tailspin of fear anytime I felt myself descending. This fear led my decision making to be subpar in many instances. The subpar decision making led me to feel worse and led to a further division between the passionate life I felt I should be living and the life I was living. I’m convinced that this on its own is the leading cause of depression, anxiety, and other maladies that plague the mental states of people on this Earth.
These days, I’m cultivating a new definition of passion. Passion is the commitment to pursue/spend time with something or someone even when it is hard, tedious, or boring because you have a deep love and sense of meaning and purpose for it. In other words, passion is not excitement, it is unconditional love that drives you to action time and time again. It is the willingness to show up and put the time in to nurture talent, relationship, wellbeing. I’m no longer seeking the next hit of excitement. I’ve learned that excitement does not equal passion. I am living a passionate life now. There is nothing I need to strive for. I am passionate about my family, yoga, writing, reading, learning, and personal growth.
What are you passionate about? What are you willing to forsake other people or experiences for? What would you do even if there were no external reward? In other words, what do you do for the mere reason that it brings joy to your life? Who or what do you love? Share in the comments.