As I engage in self-study, I see when my ego is about to roar and am better able to take a pause before I say or do something that won’t lead to the highest good… mine or anybody else’s. Today, while on a conference call, I felt my annoyance growing with a colleague of mine as he decided to speak to my client in such a way that undermined me. To put it in perspective, the client had some frustrations about the level of communication which was an issue because, prior to this person’s arrival at our company, the team he now manages was not providing adequate information to the account managers so that they could keep clients apprised of project status. In other words, there was an internal communication issue that then caused communication issues with clients. This call was being held to discuss the project and discuss an approach for communication going forward.
This is not my first rodeo. I’ve been working with clients for over 10 years now in an implementation and project management capacity so I feel confident in my ability to lead conversations with disgruntled clients. As we carry on business, this person decides to start acting like the “hero” as though he is there to “save“ the client from my poor ability to communicate. He says something to the effect of, “Well that’s why I’m here. I’ll be making sure that you receive adequate communication and remain apprised of project status going forward.” So… what’s the problem with this? We are on the same team. We both want to make sure the client is adequately informed. The problem is that, he is not tasked with client communication. He is tasked with communications to account managers so that they can manage the expectations and relationships with clients. He is a 3rd party contractor who leads the team that we use for this service as part of our organization, though we white label their services as our own.
Now, as I sat on this call, I wanted so badly to correct his statement and say, “Actually, Adam, you will not be providing the client with updates, you will provide them to me so that I can properly discuss with the client.” However, in that moment I knew this would have been an ego move and ego moves are never good moves. Plus, I would have only been doing the very same thing he was doing, which I was so put off by. Egoistic behavior has the effect of making those around you cringe. It stinks… you can’t see it, you can’t measure it, but you sense it and it’s repulsive. I’ve seen more egos flare while working in a corporate environment than what I would like to admit to over my career. Some organizational cultures have very apparent ego-mania, while in others it’s more hidden… lying under the surface, as though someone sprayed Febreze over the stench. The stench is still there, but now it’s mixed with “fresh linen.”
I chose to sit quietly and let him carry on. After the call, this same person then sent a message to my boss and I about how he would need the client’s emails (which by the way he already had on the invite to the meeting) to provide a recap of the discussion. I was delighted when my boss responded with what I’ll paraphrase as, “That’s not your job. If there is something that needs to be captured for the client, Jackie will handle it.” Often, when we choose the right course of action, the universe will subtly congratulate us for it. That’s how I felt in this moment anyway. I didn’t have to say anything. I chose to take the higher road and the universe allowed someone else to step in and say what needed to be said. God defends the righteous… or at least it says so in the Bible.
When we trust that “the universe has our back” like Gabby Bernstein so eloquently teaches, we see providence move on our behalf. I saw this movement very clearly today. Being the witness in this moment brings me to the work that I feel called to do in the world. I want people to trust one another’s abilities. I want people to bring out the best in each other. I want people to move from a place of love… centered in who they are, not threatened by others, or competing for adoration in their environments, whether those be work, family, school, or anywhere else. I want people to see more love in themselves and then bring that love into this world so that our children can benefit from a kinder world that embraces who they are and doesn’t try to knock them down or keep them small. I want to see organizations where people don’t step on each other to rise, where that kind of behavior is the exception and is called out for what it is… fear, insecurity, and ugliness. I want everyone to claim their birthright to live in love. I know! I know! I’m sounding a bit mushy and soap boxy now, so I’ll digress, but you get my point!
When I see ego’s flaring in the world it inspires me to take another step forward in the direction of healing it. It inspires me to write. It inspires me to teach. It inspires me to keep learning and studying from the great people who came before me that had immense positive impact on this world of ours in hopes that one day I may be able to cause some ripple effects of my own in favor of a more beautiful world. The more repulsed I become at certain behaviors and human tendencies, the more driven I am to heal them within myself and then share these lessons with the world in hopes that maybe others will see and heal these things within themselves. I try to give meaningful examples from my everyday life in hopes that you’ll relate and be inspired to commit to your own self-study (svadhyaya). It is only in becoming more self-aware that we have any hope of blossoming into the highest version of ourselves. I want that for you. I pray that you step onto this path with me so that we can rise together. Climbing mountains isn’t always easy or even fun, but the view on top is so worth it!
Thank you, Adam, for recommitting me to my work in this world. Thank you for giving me the gift of awareness allowing me to practice catching my own ego before it decided to act out today. Thank you for allowing me the ability to choose love and feel the glory of doing so. I’m deeply grateful to you.
Have you seen egos flare at work? What do you think causes or contributes to this? Share in the comments.