For a long time, I believed that some were just more capable than others. I believed that some were just naturally happier than others and it was all a matter of innate disposition or outer circumstance. The only thing that I was right about was the fact that happiness is innate. Everything else was erroneous thinking.
The bible draws the correlation of us to clay in a potter’s hands, which means we are not fixed, but ever changing. We can be molded into that which we are willing to believe we can become. The key word here is “believe.” We must believe before we can achieve the results we are seeking. We must believe in the unseen, for that is what belief is. It is using our imagination in a way that allows us to unfold and become the very best version we can be.
The key is to learn how to use our imagination for good rather than for evil. We often turn our imagination against ourselves. We imagine worst case scenarios, what may go wrong, or what we don’t have. We spend time worrying about failure, what others think, and other unnecessary things. What would happen if we took our imagination and practiced what Peter Pan so honestly told us the magic was in flying, “Think happy thoughts?”
Instead of using this resource for bringing about our sadness, depression, anger, overwhelm, and anxiety, we can practices using our imagination for bringing about joy, love, hope, peace, and life. Happiness, joy, and love are like many other skills in life. When we set the intention and put forth the effort to practice, we begin to see progress.
Practice makes perfect is a lie that I used to believe. I could never measure up to the bar I’d set for myself and when I saw myself falling short of my expectation, I would give up. I would feel as though I wasn’t “good enough” or “smart enough” or “enough” to live up to the ridiculous expectation that I’d put on myself. I’d never stopped to ask myself who defined what “enough” was? I’d never stopped to consider at that time, that I was the only one putting these ridiculous expectations and pressure onto my own shoulders in an act of self-hatred. I definitely didn’t believe that I already was “enough.”
I’ve learned to change “Practice makes perfect” to “Practice makes progress.” In this mantra, I can celebrate every small success I see along the journey and it makes life much more enjoyable. In this mantra, I can be proud of the progress I’ve made and take joy in the effort and success, no matter how incremental it may be. Each step forward brings new courage, new joy, new faith, and new hope. Each milestone on the journey allows me to be renewed knowing how far I’ve already come.
Stop making it about perfection. Perfection does not exist and crushes all of the joy in the journey. Instead, strong>strive to make progress in whatever it is you are seeking to do more of, be more of, have more of, or feel more of in your life. If your goal is to get out of bed earlier in the morning, celebrate the day you get up 1 minute earlier than normal. If your goal is to simply just get out of bed right now because you are struggling with grief or depression in some way, celebrate when you get up to go to the bathroom or grab a snack knowing the will and strength you’ve had to muster to complete this task.
Progress is progress. Every step forward is cause for celebration. When we start celebrating ourselves for what we are doing right, we begin to lose sight of what we are not doing. We begin to lose site of how far we have to go and can find joy in the progress we’ve made. Each small success becomes a launching pad for another and then another. It becomes a snowball rolling downhill through the snow, gaining power, speed, and size as it moves forward. With each success we expand ourselves a little further than we were before, we gain momentum, and we become a powerful force to be reckoned with as we gain more strength from each success.
We don’t have to figure everything out in one day. There is a reason we get a lifetime. Take the pressure off of yourself. Keep your eyes on where you’d like to be and celebrate each step forward knowing that each step no matter how small if consistently made in the right direction will still get you to your destination.
Where can you take the pressure off? What expectations are you holding and then lashing yourself for failing to meet? Are you celebrating yourself enough? If not, what is holding you back?