Today my therapist drew my attention to the number of times I used the word “but” in our conversation. As I lay here in the tub, something strikes me about the word “but.” It is not “all or nothing thinking” as she put it. It is discounting one’s idea, dreams, beliefs, words, or inspirations. It is a word that makes excuses for having the words that came before it expressed into life. It is an apology of sorts as it makes reasons “why not” to discount your reason “why.” Instead of fully owning what we said, want, or dreamed we allow “but” to stand in our way, robbing the dream of life and discounting it so that it can’t spread its wings and fly. Words have power as anyone who has ever been at the wrong end of them can certainly attest to. When we speak life into something and then use the word, “but” we are robbing the power of our words in the world. We allow fear to show its backside or “butt” (I am goofily witty at times) and shit all over our goals or ideas. We allow ourselves to be robbed without any defense. In fact, we take the gift of inspired idea and actively shoot it in the heart before it has a chance to breathe life into us and into this world.
Think about it… when is “but” ever really used for good? I was going to do ——-, but then I got busy. Stolen action. I want to do —–, but if I do then ——. Dismissal of desire or vision. This is a good idea, but it may be too complicated…. doubting ability or power within yourself. Of course, sometimes the opposite can be true too… I felt like running that guy off the road when he cut me off, but I realized I didn’t really want to be responsible for harming anyone and the act was not that serious after all. The problem I am speaking about here is when we are using “but” after a good or harmless thought, word, or emotion.
When we do this, we are discounting our worth. We are discounting our innate worthiness to own our desires, discounting our right to move toward the path we are being called to, invalidating our souls’ freedom of expression. When we do this, we might as well be tying ourselves up and putting ourselves into the box instead of finding our way out of it. (more on this box concept in another blog that I have yet to write)
I am grateful for the gift of her words and the stroke of inspiration from God as I lie here soaking in stillness listening to the sounds of Lauren Daigle. God is truly full of “ah ha moments” these days and shining light on my path so that I can share it with each of you. I trust that those who are meant to benefit from this work will find it and I pray that it serves you on your path.
Side note: As I close this writing, the most brilliant closing song came on to push me on this discovery and empower me to move toward the inspired ideas I have been having… Matthew West – All In. The universe is always speaking when we’re tuned in and listening.
How often do you find yourself using the word “but” after good or neutral statements? How often do you hear “but” within your own thoughts? Why do you feel the need to discount yourself?
Share in the comments. Let’s inspire one another to authenticity. Truth and love overcome all darkness! Be honest with yourself.